call.

All the time people are saying, "call if you need anything." Not just about this, but whenever someone's having a hard time in life we always say, "call if you need anything." Well, I have clothes from a week ago that need to be folded and put away, shirts that need ironing, my boys room that needs to be cleaned, a fridge that needs to be cleaned out, and I really really really don't want to make dinner. BUT, why would I call anyone? Everyone struggles in life, I don't want to burden anyone.
I don't want to be the callifyouneedanything person anymore. I want to be the person who will drop dinner off on someone's door stop, go over and iron a few shirts or do a sink of dishes, or send a card in the mail. I want to be the person who, eventhough I won't know what they NEED, I can lighten their burden a little bit.
I want a person like that in my life, so that's what I'm going to become. I'll do it...after I'm done skinning buffalo and killing the Indians who are trying to get my babies.
There's a person in my life who's been wonderful. I don't know them well. They're my neighbors and they don't know what's going on, but I'm sure they've heard a few things. Anyway, K (lives upstairs) came down and made paper airplanes for my oldest son and chatted for a bit. Then today he and his wife, E, brought us cookies and chatted. It's the little things that make me feel like I can handle being a single mom for a few months. Just knowing someone is thinking of me.

P.S. I still love my man. He's at his grandparents house and he's been helping them out. THey are raising their 3 young grandsons and my man's having a really hard time with the Spirit that's in their house....it's so contentious. He's having a lot of realizations...I like it. He misses me and the boys, he hates being away from us, but he knows he can't come home until he's 12 weeks clean. This can still go either way, but I'm hoping this brings us closer together.