never ending

This whole journey is exhausting! I feel like it's never ending! It's a roller coaster!
Some days are good, some are great and some just suck! Some days I wonder if it's even really worth it anymore!
People who know my situation tell me they'd leave. It's really bothered me that I don't feel the same way. It bothered me that I thought I SHOULD want to leave or feel like it's the best thing, but I don't. I've come to a realization and I feel better about my decisions. NO ONE knows what they'd do if they were in a situation. And, everyone's situation, no matter how similar, is different. Someone going through the exact same crap I am could know that she's supposed to get divorced and start over. That's what's right for HER and no one should judge her for that. Someone else going through more crap could know that she's supposed to stay. That's what's right for HER! So, I am following the Spirit and my instincts and right now, eventhough sometimes it'd be easier to leave and start over, I know right now that I'm supposed to be here.
I wish men knew the effect their addictions have on the women who love them! I wish they could feel a little piece of the heartbreak and worthlessness that we go through because of their actions! I think they'd fight harder!
Today I am grateful for the guidance I've had through this past year. I'm grateful for my children who, sometimes, are the only reason I keep going. I'm very grateful for my man who keeps fighting and trying to not let this destroy us!

Comments

J said…
Absolutely girl! You are spot on! EVERY is DIFFERENT and NO ONE eill ever even begin to comprehend what this is like until they've experienced it....

You do what YOU feel is right! That's all that matters!!

Love you a whole bunch!!

xoxoxo
November 25, 2010 at 9:21 PM
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