i am a pioneer woman.

my man did great for so long. Life was good. We were happy. I was trusting him again...mostly. We weren't fighting. I was feeling like I was really worth something to him again. I liked it! I felt like we were going to live happily ever after.

Then, we were planning to leave town. The boys and I were outside waiting for my man to get home. We had all our stuff outside. He promised to be home in 15 minutes. 9 hours later he made it. I had to tell my boys we weren't leaving, I had to figure out how to tell them their dad wasn't going to be home.

I was upset and sad for me for a bit. Then I had this feeling that I needed to buck it up. I need to be my boys' mom. They needed me. I was sad for them. We laid in my bed and talked and read and fell asleep.

I was up all night thinking and praying. I came to a conclusion. I need to stop caring. As soon as I decided that I felt so much peace and was able to spend my night for me and not worrying about what my husband was doing.

Now, I am not caring. I have distanced myself. I don't nag him anymore. When we read scriptures I invite him to join us, but if he doesn't come it's on him. I didn't think it would make a difference, but it does. There aren't as many fights, I'm not mad as much. This is up to him. I am responsible for me and my boys. He can do what he wants with his life. I just hope he chooses us!!! Until then, I will care and work on my marriage while he is doing good and being honest. I will withdraw and not care when he is being dumb.

I am a pioneer woman!