The Grammy's

I have never watched The Grammy's.
Growing up I was never allowed to stay up that late.
Then, I married a porn addict and watching The Grammy's triggered something in me every time.
I couldn't watch it.  I knew N was looking at all the skin that was showing on those women's perfect bodies,
I knew he was wishing I looked like them, and I also knew that's what he would fantisize about.
So, I hated watching The Grammy's or anything like it.
We would always try watching it and I'd ask him to change the channel when a 1/2 naked woman was on stage and I felt uncomfortable and he'd tell me no that it wasn't triggering anything in him.
I knew better.
I hated that part of being married to a porn/sex addict....always wondering who he was looking at and why.
HATED IT!
So, tonight, I sat down and watched The Grammy's with my parents.
My dad changes the channel at the first sign of anything inappropriate and for that I am SO grateful.
We watched the Grammy's and I actually liked it.
It was a fun waste of time:)
And then this came on and I got goose bumps and I got a lump in my throat and I held back the tears until after The Grammy's and I was in my own room.


if the video doesn't work (Grammy is putting a stop to anyone sharing anything from last nights show) go to youtube.com and search:  carol king and sara bareilles

Listen to the lyrics...REALLY listen to them.
The words speak to my soul.  They are my feelings.  This is MY song!
My heart breaks for what my boys and I lost.  For the love I wanted so bad and for the perfect marriage and family I wanted.  My heart hurts for all the women who have to go through all the hurt that their husbands betrayal causes.  But, remember, no matter where you are in your journey....YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL & BRAVE!  You truly are.  You can do this. You are stronger than you will ever know.
I am beautiful. I am brave.

Comments

Unknown said…
loved this song....great message! Thanks.
You are beautiful. :)
January 27, 2014 at 5:46 PM
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