Telling

I told my in-laws. My man didn't come home again after almost 9 full days of being 'clean'! I felt like I needed help, someone on my side, someone who will love my man no matter what and will help us beat this crappy addiction of his. So, I called my inlaws and asked them to come down the next day. I knew they'd be busy and have plans, but they dropped everything and came down.

I haven't told very many people about my real life. I prefer to pretend like things are fine...it's easier that way. I told my parents and wish I hadn't...they are too judgemental and 1 sided because I'm their daughter. I told a friend and she thinks I should leave him. So, I've really struggled with whether to tell his parents.

I'm so glad I did. Saturday was a tough day! I was emotionally drained within minutes of waking up. My man and I fought and I cried...a lot! I didn't know it was possible to hurt this much...to feel this much pain...to feel like I'm in my own little hell. I hate it! My inlaws met us at our counselors office and he is amazing!!!! My father in law isn't a beleiver in counseling or addictions. M explained everything in a way that my father in law got it and is understanding what my man is really going through. They then came to our house and gave me a blessing and had dinner with us.

It was a great and horrible day. Being in counseling with my man made me realize that he does love me adn he does wan tthis marriage to work and he is willing. NOw I have to decide how long I'm going to keep doing this.

I wish I could share a bit of my pain with young men who are struggling. I wish they could see what will happen if they don't get their addiction out of their lives now! It destroys people. It's destroying me. It has the potential to destroy my children, and it's destroying my man.

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