The Togetherness Project

I had an amazing day Saturday!
I heard about The Togetherness Project and wanted to go so bad.
I printed out the schedule and circled which classes I would go to if I could go.
But, my husband's unemployed and we have no savings and a lot of debt.
So, I tucked the paper away.
Then someone donated money for women to go and because of that persons generosity I got to go!!!!
THANK YOU!  THANK YOU!  THANK YOU!
I got there and I was nervous.  I was alone.  I didn't know anyone there.
I got my name tag and my bag.  The bag was great.  There was a notebook, a pen, the schedule, and rules.
I thought I'd take a few notes, but I filled 1/2 my notebook.
EVERYTHING was PERFECT. 
There were tables set up, there were snacks in big beautiful vases.  there was ice water and everything was perfect!

"How to Live a Better Story"
Josh Brazier and Hollie henderson
your life is a story
you control the pencil
What do you do with a blank page?
develop your authentic character
focus on the end result, not the conflict
Write a list of things you want to accomplish and get rid of the voices in your head!

Be Brave
eat my scabs
Be brave and do something for you
Find your core strenths
I can go through this hell!
Teach your kids to feel their heart
move through the trauma: pass through each emotion, feel whatever it is adn put it away
Tell your kids the truth!

Dealing with Disappointment
Maurice Harker
women have celestial orientation: they see things in their perfect form and always want improvement and to be better
everytime you have hope, you re-greive
fretting vs. pondering
you know when he's on the road to recovery when he notices the correct boundaries without you telling him
as a man Presides, provides and Protects their woman the woman will start trusting again

Addiction and Intimacy
Dr. Skinner
Addiction is an attachment problem
naturally we are intimate beings, but because of addiction we can't be natural
are we getting to the root of the problem or just trying to stop a behavior
their is a story behind the addicts lack of intimacy
With His addiction I can't be who I naturally am
when trust is gone there is no intimacy and it's a normal response in trauma
Become who are are naturally!!!
You are worthy of love!!!  Don't get lost in the muck of his addiction.  Stand Strong!!!

Why do I feel like This
Dr. Skinner
Betrayal Trauma: like bieng in a car crash but you can't walk away
What you're feeling is normal
DO SELF CARE!!!
Progress does NOT occur if there are secrets and not enough structure
A person who BLAMES is being abusive
Recovery is possible
change and adapt depending on your spouse's behavior
don't let HIS addiction dictate who you are!!!

Healing Through Loving Boundaries
Tyler adn Michelle Iverson
It only takes 1 person to set a boundary
avoid knee jerk reactions
seek guidance from god
FOLLOW THROUGH
i want my home to be a place of safety

Talk With Your Kids about Pornography
Deanna Lambson
Talkign about pornography with your kids is your way of protecting them
average age of exposure is 9
kids who talk to their parents after their first exposure are less likely to return to porn again
sex is not a forbidden topic
be open and honest
no shame and no blame
give a safe invitation
talk about icky feelings
ask questions, tell the truth, share values, REPEAT
identify the lie of porn

We had a boxed lunch that was delicious and so nice to be with women who understood.  I remember sitting there and one of the women asked my story, so I was telling her.  I remember talking in a normal voice and then when I started using words like porn, addiction, stripper, lapdance,  I started whispering.  I stopped mid sentence and realized every single person in that room understood; they were in similar situations.  I quit whispering.  I was able to talk about my life....my WHOLE life without being embarassed or fearing judgement.  It was wonderful.  I felt so free.  free to be me and free to share all of me!!!

Dinner was beautiful and formal and the company was fantastic!  I LOVE those women.  I love every one of them and my heart breaks for them.  I am sad that so many women are in similar situations, but I am so grateful to have so many women who understand ME! 

Jacy, you are amazing!  Thank you for following your heart and putting The Togetherness Project together!!!! Seth, thank you to you, too for supporting Jacy and being part of The Togetherness Project.  you are both so amazing!

To my new found friends...I LOVE YOU!!!

Comments

Scabs said…
thanks for these notes! I wasn't able to go to as many classes as i wanted so thank you for this.

October 21, 2013 at 9:08 PM
Scabs said…
thanks for these notes! I wasn't able to go to as many classes as i wanted so thank you for this.

October 21, 2013 at 9:08 PM
Scabs said…
i like to leave comments twice...weird, i have no idea why i did that! lol
October 21, 2013 at 9:09 PM
Tracey said…
Thank you for the notes too! I forgot some of it already. I needed to read it. And I have to say the company at dinner was fantastic wasn't it! It was fun sitting next to you
October 23, 2013 at 9:17 PM
hope said…
Tracey, I LOVE YOU!!! You are so amazing and funny and you made me laugh and feel so comfortable just being me. Will you email me? My email is pornaddictswife@gmail.com Just send me your email. THANK YOU!!!
October 23, 2013 at 10:59 PM
Finding Freckles said…
Thank you for sharing details about your experience at The Togetherness Project.
October 27, 2013 at 5:08 AM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

fighting

He's fighting. I just talked to him and asked why. He told me he deosn't want to lose his family. He wants to be home with us. I've never been this....withdrawn and angry. I am so hurt. The things he's said and done to me...I don't know if I can forgive. I don't trust him. But, he's fighthing. He calls me every morning and every night. He stops by to see the kids. He's 7 days clean. I'm not about to let him move home or be too quick to forgive, but he's fighting! I will be honest....I wasn't sure he'd choose me. I'm still not sure, as time goes by, that he'll keep fighting and choose me. But, for now, he's fighting and winning and choosing me. And I'm still being cautious. I'm still struggling to trust him and i know it will come with time....unless he messes up again.
Read more

hell

long story short: my man got a new phone. i installed net nanny on it. he uninstalled it. he left for 8 hours to get his fix and came home. for 2 weeks he was ALL addict. he locked me out of the room while he did his video chatting and porn watching. i sat in the front room ALONE and hurting so bad. on our way out the door for church without my man and he locked me out of the bathroom. i told him it was time for him to leave. forever. he laughed at me like i was kidding. i went crazy. not my finest moment. definately not proud of what followed. especially since my children were home. i kicked the door down. i broke it. i pushed my man into the bathtub. i used the plunger and plunged his face. then i used the handle to hit him. i got out 8 years of hurting. i know it was wrong and i know it can't happen again, but it felt good. i got my boys in the car and we were leaving for the night so my man could see i was serious. the cops came. i got a citation for domestic violence, domestic...
Read more

i am a pioneer woman.

my man did great for so long. Life was good. We were happy. I was trusting him again...mostly. We weren't fighting. I was feeling like I was really worth something to him again. I liked it! I felt like we were going to live happily ever after. Then, we were planning to leave town. The boys and I were outside waiting for my man to get home. We had all our stuff outside. He promised to be home in 15 minutes. 9 hours later he made it. I had to tell my boys we weren't leaving, I had to figure out how to tell them their dad wasn't going to be home. I was upset and sad for me for a bit. Then I had this feeling that I needed to buck it up. I need to be my boys' mom. They needed me. I was sad for them. We laid in my bed and talked and read and fell asleep. I was up all night thinking and praying. I came to a conclusion. I need to stop caring. As soon as I decided that I felt so much peace and was able to spend my night for me and not worrying abo...
Read more