the bitch is back.
I find it therapeutic to say a few naughty words when I'm angry. So, excuse me for any naughty's you may come across in this post. I'm a little on the angry side.
Counseling today. 2 hours!!!! An hour for me and an hour for my man. It was hell. I found that my man has been lying to me. We made an agreement...for every day clean he gets a little somethin' and I won't complain. So, for 3 days he told me he was clean and I gave him what he wanted...even a little somethin' extra! Day 3....my gut told me he was lying. He SWORE he was being honest. In counseling today I found that he's been lying to me for the whole 3 days. I was angry. no, I was LIVID! I beat him, punched him, threw my purse at him, pinched and left. Then I walked back in for more. He left and I had a chat with our counselor. My stomach has been in knots ever since.
I understand how women can physically hurt their men...I get it now! I really do! To be hurt this much by the person who is supposed to be your everything....it destroys you!
I chatted with Maurice (counselor) and he walked me through my choices. I want to be done with this...I really do! I don't know that I'll ever be able to fully trust him again. I think I could go back to work and put my kids in daycare. This is definately not what I wanted for my boys, but I could do it and I'm almost to the point that it would be better than them living like we are now. Oh, the decisions. We decided on a seperation...that way nothing's final and as I watch my man during that time I will start to know what I am supposed to do and I will be able to slowly prepare for whatever comes.
BUT, my man won't leave. He didn't know that he'd get kicked out if he lied. UH, hello?! We have no money, no place to go, so, he's here. He's sleeping on my couch and he's being quite the butthead, too. Acting like he shouldn't have to do anything because his bitchy wife is MAKING him sleep on the couch. Not wanting to help with the boys or the house. Not wanting to do his reading. HELLO! Do you not get that you're supposed to woo me back to you right now?
SO, the bitch is back. The dignified bitch that is. We, as women, have the RIGHT to be bitches when our men misbehave. BUT, to be a full on bitch does not come naturally for most of us. So, a dignified bitch is a bitch with class. My man wants a hug and I'm just not feelin' it.....I say, "no, thank you." He wants a lunch made? I say, "I'd love to if you'd empty the dishwasher for me." I tell him really what I want to, but I have to do it in a nice way. This really irks my man. More than yelling. He hates the dignified bitch that I become when he misbehaves.
Well, honey, she's back!
Counseling today. 2 hours!!!! An hour for me and an hour for my man. It was hell. I found that my man has been lying to me. We made an agreement...for every day clean he gets a little somethin' and I won't complain. So, for 3 days he told me he was clean and I gave him what he wanted...even a little somethin' extra! Day 3....my gut told me he was lying. He SWORE he was being honest. In counseling today I found that he's been lying to me for the whole 3 days. I was angry. no, I was LIVID! I beat him, punched him, threw my purse at him, pinched and left. Then I walked back in for more. He left and I had a chat with our counselor. My stomach has been in knots ever since.
I understand how women can physically hurt their men...I get it now! I really do! To be hurt this much by the person who is supposed to be your everything....it destroys you!
I chatted with Maurice (counselor) and he walked me through my choices. I want to be done with this...I really do! I don't know that I'll ever be able to fully trust him again. I think I could go back to work and put my kids in daycare. This is definately not what I wanted for my boys, but I could do it and I'm almost to the point that it would be better than them living like we are now. Oh, the decisions. We decided on a seperation...that way nothing's final and as I watch my man during that time I will start to know what I am supposed to do and I will be able to slowly prepare for whatever comes.
BUT, my man won't leave. He didn't know that he'd get kicked out if he lied. UH, hello?! We have no money, no place to go, so, he's here. He's sleeping on my couch and he's being quite the butthead, too. Acting like he shouldn't have to do anything because his bitchy wife is MAKING him sleep on the couch. Not wanting to help with the boys or the house. Not wanting to do his reading. HELLO! Do you not get that you're supposed to woo me back to you right now?
SO, the bitch is back. The dignified bitch that is. We, as women, have the RIGHT to be bitches when our men misbehave. BUT, to be a full on bitch does not come naturally for most of us. So, a dignified bitch is a bitch with class. My man wants a hug and I'm just not feelin' it.....I say, "no, thank you." He wants a lunch made? I say, "I'd love to if you'd empty the dishwasher for me." I tell him really what I want to, but I have to do it in a nice way. This really irks my man. More than yelling. He hates the dignified bitch that I become when he misbehaves.
Well, honey, she's back!
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xoxo