"I wanna see you be brave"

X called. He's serious with a girl. Actually, he told me they're getting married. And, I'm a mess. I haven't cried this much in a long time....about 2 years. WHY?!  WHY is this bothering me so much? It's taken me 3 days to work through all of this.  The first day I couldn't stop crying.   Today I cried once. So I'm making progress. So many emotions... this is supposed to be my life, my happily ever after. this man took it from me. He took it and is giving it to someone else. He is changing for this woman and her 3 boys, but... he wouldn't change for me or OUR boys! He was supposed to make me so happy.  He promised me happiness, love and to cherish me. He knows all of my insecurities, all of my weaknesses and he threw them in my face. We were supposed to live a life together, raise a family together, go on adventures together, go to soccer games, recitals, scouts, church, etc together. I had envisioned gro

I thought my ex and I were getting along well. I thought we were agreeing on things and making sure the boys were happy and doing everything for them. Then I found it nothing was as it seemed. My boys told me to tell their dad they didn't want to go to his girlfriends house. Well, that's what they did.  all day. My boys hated it, they told me they would never go with their dad again.  They told me her kids were mean and used bad language.  They told me they didn't feel safe there and they would run and hide next time they had to go with their dad.  They want to talk to the judge and tell him they don't want to have to go with their dad every other weekend. I want them to have a relationship with their dad.  It's important for them.  But, I want them to be safe, too.  I don't want to keep my ex from seeing his kids.  I enjoy my weekends when they are gone...I get to sleep in, get caught up on homework, go out with friends, etc.  I know that them