"I wanna see you be brave"

Prince E is so good to me.  I am learning to trust him and it's an amazing thing.  I haven't trusted a man in...well, ever.  My dad was not good to me and then my ex and then the guys I've dated.  So, this is a new thing and it's scary.  I'm learning to just go with it and trust my heart.  My intuition/heart/6th sense has never been wrong. To trust Prince E is such a free feeling....I don't feel trapped or crazy.  There's no way to explain what it feels to trust someone.  I feel free and happy and light. BUT...I have discovered a trigger. When Prince E doesn't text me back within an hour I go crazy. This has happened twice and both times I realized right away that I was being triggered, but I don't know what to do about it. For 10 years when my texts and calls were ignored it meant that X was with another woman and it destroyed me.  It caused me so much pain and despair.  There's no way to explain the feeling of being so completely betrayed

I joined a bunch of dating sites about 2 years ago.  It was fun.  I had 12 dates lined up.  Well, I thought I had 12 dates lined up.   But, then I was talking to my sister and found out that hook ups aren't the same as dates.  I cancelled those hook ups and was a little discouraged. After a year of dating and hating it I cancelled all sites and focused on me.  I did a lot of fun things, found out who I am again and .... decided I was ready to try again. I joined POF.   I dated a lot. I really liked one guy and we dated awhile and I pushed him away with my trust issues. Looking back I realize that he was not what I wanted.   He wasn't patient or kind or respectful. I dated more and was a lot more careful and picky. Dating sucks!!!! 99% of the guys pretend to want a relationship, but then focus solely on how to get sex. 6 ish weeks ago I wrote in my journal about what I want.   I want a man who will be patient with me, who will understand my trust issues,